


Supercut

by eleasofia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bittersweet, Break Up, Canon Compliant, F/M, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Heartbreak, Nostalgia, POV Oikawa Tooru, Post-Break Up, Post-High School, Retrospective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:30:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24405070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleasofia/pseuds/eleasofia
Summary: “I said I’m sorry,” he tried again, pleadingly by now, “And now that you know, we can talk about it, so don't just walk away from me.”At least she had come to a halt again, but it felt more like she was looking through him than at him.“It doesn't matter anymore,” she said and seemed eerily indifferent all of a sudden, “I'm through with you.”
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Supercut

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a commission for [averterofevil](https://averterofevil.tumblr.com), and its title was inspired by the song "Supercut" by Lorde.  
> The female OC in this is not mine! You can look up information about her [here](https://toyhou.se/5725821.yoshino-yumeno).  
> I hope you enjoy :)

It was an afternoon like any other - cold, grey, and it was already dark outside although it wasn't even evening yet. They were walking home together, holding hands as always, but Oikawa noticed that his girlfriend was unusually quiet. 

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

Yoshino stopped abruptly and let go of his hand, a stern look on her face, “I’m going to ask you something and don’t you dare lie to me.”

Oikawa felt his heart miss a beat. He didn’t know what this was about, but he knew that it was bad since she usually didn’t behave like that. Yes, she was always very blunt, and she liked a little drama, but this felt different, very different.

“I’d never lie to you,” he said and he meant it.

“Are you going overseas after graduation?” she asked while staring him down.

“Wh-what..? Who said that?” Oikawa asked dumbfounded, and he knew he shouldn’t play clueless, but he couldn’t come up with anything better. He wasn’t prepared for this at all, not here, not now.

“Are you or are you not?” she asked again impatiently.

“Yeah, I am,” he replied meekly.

“So much for never lying to me,” she scoffed.

“I wasn't lying!” he protested, “I just haven't told you yet! I wanted to wait for the right moment, I-”

“There is no such thing as a right moment”, she interrupted him, “So either you're a coward or an asshole.”

Oikawa wanted to argue against that, but he knew that it was only going to make things worse, so he swallowed his anger down. And maybe she was a little bit right about it, about him, but only a little bit. 

“I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you,” he said softly and took a tentative step towards her, “I really was planning on telling you soon, I promise.”

“Well, it’s too late for that,” she snapped at him, turning around on the spot. 

The rapid movement made her long blonde hair flip through the air dramatically, and to Oikawa it felt like everything around him was suddenly moving in slow-motion. And then she simply started walking away.

He caught up with her immediately and tried to grab her arm to hold her back, but she jerked it away, darting an angry glance at him. 

“I said I’m sorry,” he tried again, pleadingly by now, “And now that you know, we can talk about it, so don't just walk away from me.”

At least she had come to a halt again, but it felt more like she was looking through him than at him.

“It doesn't matter anymore,” she said and seemed eerily indifferent all of a sudden, “I'm through with you.”

It was at this moment that Oikawa realized how badly he had fucked up and that it was probably too late to fix it. They had fought before. They had even broken up before, kind of at least. But they had always talked things through, even overly so. They had screamed and cried until nothing had been left unsaid. But this was different, and it was terrifying.

“Whoa, whoa, wait, you don't mean that, do you?” 

“I do!” she replied, suddenly angry again, “What did you think would happen once you told me you're leaving?!”

“Well, I don't know,” he admitted and helplessly shrugged his shoulders, “I just thought we'd at least talk about our future?”

“Don’t you get it? There is no such thing as _our_ future! Not anymore! You ruined it!”

“Hey, that's not fair!” Oikawa protested, and he knew that he was probably just making her angrier with that, but at least they were talking about it now, “And as long as we haven't talked about our options-”

“What's not fair is that I had to hear something like that from someone else than you! So don’t be ridiculous!” she shouted at him, her voice shaky.

There wasn’t really anything clever Oikawa could retort to that. She was right. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. And no, long-distance wasn’t an option for either of them, he knew that.

“But we still have four more months,” he said pleadingly, hoping she wouldn’t take that away from him, from _them_.

“No, we don't! Why would I spend four more months with you if it’s going to end anyway? I don’t date to break up!” she yelled and started walking away once again.

“Yoshinon!”

“Don't you dare call me that!” she snapped at him and as she turned around again, he could see tears streaming down her face, “You've lost the right to call me that.”

And this time when she started to walk away once more, he just stood there. He felt his heart break and he felt actual physical pain shoot through his whole body. And then he felt numb, hollow, as if he’d literally lost a part of himself.

He knew that a breakup had been inevitable, but why did it have to be like this? This, no, this couldn’t be the ending, _their_ ending. He wouldn’t let it be. But he also didn’t know what to do.

And even now, more than a year later, when he thinks about it, he still feels that sharp stabbing pain in his heart, his chest, everywhere. It’s like a punch to the gut, like all air being sucked out of his lungs.

It’s the pain of deciding to go abroad knowing he'll lose her. And the pain of actually losing her, and that way sooner than expected. And the pain of not even being able to say goodbye. He can’t even remember their last kiss because back then he had thought they would still have more, four whole months worth of kisses more. 

He also still carries around the pain of not actually realizing that it’s over. And there’s the pain of never actually talking having talked it through. The pain of trying to talk to her again, but never being successful, of chickening out, of saying something stupid or nothing at all. The pain of being rejected over and over again.

The breakup had been hard, but what had followed had been even worse. He had wanted to scream and to fight until they hated each other or got back together again. He had wanted their relationship to go out with a bang, nothing left unsaid and done. And all he had gotten was avoiding each other and awkward silence. There is no greater pain than being treated like a mere acquaintance by the person you love. 

Then there’s also the pain of finally giving up and letting her be. The pain of seeing her almost every day during those last four months they could’ve spent together. The pain of seeing her in pain even though she tried to hide it the best she could. The pain of simply never getting closure, for neither of them.

And finally, the pain of graduating, packing his bags, saying goodbye to friends and family, and leaving everything he knew and loved behind.

The pain of giving up on one future, one dream, to chase another.

Those feelings, the hurt, the pain, the longing, the regret, they always well up again. But still, he likes to look back. Some might say it’s not healthy, but he thinks that maybe if he goes over it often enough, he’ll be able to get over it one day. 

So even though he'd like to look back at the good things and the good things only, he’s willing to endure the pain because oh, those good things, he remembers them just as intensely, it’s absolutely worth it.

The laughs, the kisses, her hand in his, his heart in hers. The victories, the celebrations, the tears of joy. The peace, the tranquility, the quiet moments where they’d felt like time stood still and they were the center of the universe. Their hopes, their dreams, their plans. The magic, the wildness, the fluorescence. The love.

But if there’s one thing he has learned from this then it’s that something this good and pure never comes without a price. There’s no rainbow without rain. So, of course, there’s no love like this without the fights, the pain, the tears, the losses, the greatest loss of them all being their love.

Marrying your high school sweetheart still seems to be everyone's dream, and yes, it used to be normal, but it rarely works out like that anymore. Deep down he'd always known that, had pushed it away, didn't want it to be true, but he, too, had indulged in that dream, that perfect fantasy.

However, as he plays it all back in his head again as ever so often, the fate of their relationship had been sealed the moment it had started if he was being honest with himself.

The reason those kinds of love stories used to have happy endings is that life was simpler back then. People had fewer opportunities. While the men got jobs, the women didn’t get to make any choices at all. They raised the children. They followed their husbands. They didn’t get to have careers of their own. 

And it’s not like he wants that back, he’d never want to make anyone give up on their dreams, not at all, but in a world like this, a love like theirs maybe wouldn’t have ended as it did. Or in a world where he hadn’t been raised to think that marrying your first big love is likely, he’d be able to cope with it better. Or maybe he’s just kidding himself.

Truth is, for him his career in volleyball is the most important thing in his life, always has been. He had picked up a volleyball as a child long before he'd had any interest in girls and love and relationships, and he hasn’t put it down ever since. It’s always hard, seldom rewarding, but the occasional highs always keep him going. It’s like a spell he’s under and he can’t break it. And he doesn’t want to. He had always wanted to break into foreign leagues, and now that he has, he just knows that it was the right to do. He feels like he belongs.

Yoshino had already been a successful model during high school. She was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen in his life. He’d always known that she’d have a bright future. And he understands that there’s no place for her here with him in Argentina, but that doesn’t stop him from wishing there was.

Back then when they had first met, when their paths had crossed for the very first time, it had already been clear that they wouldn't be able to walk together to the finish line, or down the aisle.

And yet, even knowing that every time you date someone, you either date for marriage or for heartbreak, they chose to try. No one starts dating and already thinks about the end. Everyone shoves those thoughts away. When you’re in love you want to believe that it all works out in the end and that if it doesn’t, it simply isn’t the end.

But it's not like that. It was never going to be like that. Relationships end. Feelings get hurt. People drift apart. He knows that now, looking back at it all, the good and the bad. 

So as he flips through a magazine and sees her, his heart skips a beat. It stings a bit, but more than anything else she just takes his breath away, still, and more than ever. It's only been around a year since he had last seen her in real life, but she looks so much more grown-up now, and happy, and simply gorgeous.

Even if he’ll always keep imagining a future that could've been, a future in which he hadn't made any mistakes, he knows neither of them would be as happy with their lives and careers as they are now. 

And it's nice to know that there's this special someone, that they had this connection, that he’ll forever have those precious memories. And he hopes that she still thinks of him too and that she follows his career as well. 

And maybe, just maybe, their paths will cross again one day and they’ll be able to rewrite their ending.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot for reading! Feel free to drop by and talk to me on [Tumblr](http://atsumus.tumblr.com), [Twitter](http://twitter.com/eleasofiaa) or [Instagram](http://instagram.com/eleasofiaa).


End file.
